no more fun, back to business :|

i think i have going back hometown for week but everyday i spent half of my day sleeping and another of it hang out with my old friends and i dunno maybe eating or chet chatting online :)

for the whole week i just meet her 1 time (the moment was never so fast before and its over..) i miss her badly..  the journey when i sitting inside the car and hearing those "love song" my memory keep refreshing... is all about her... i have no choice but  bury all the feelings inside the deepest place in my heart... i don't want her to know that..  love is not like muscle training that if u work hard time to time u will get the target... 

dear father,

if that is not mine please take it away from me, i know me myself  would be suffering for that .... maybe months, years but i put my trust in you. there was a time when i face all the stone and challenge in my life and we meet and in just 1 sec of smile she melt me and i got the strength to continue to face the world. for the paper work i just expect i can complete it on time... by the way i am running out ideas.... online research is not working for me when the info that the lecture give is not clear enough... i have to repent myself for being rude to my parents this afternoon because i really fall into the stress that the world is giving me... don't expect too much from you, i can't give u all you need, i am just a ordinary person with all the crazy ideas and thought that spinning inside his head 24hours (when i sleep i am not SLEEP actually, i am just giving my body time to rest and when i awake my cells will burn into little pieces of ideas)

 (i will try to resist my fear, and i don't think my mentalism will works on you but is worth to have a try) :|

 The most secure way to keep love is to give it space and care to grow. If you hold it too tightly, you will lose it.