和谐家庭10条吵架公约

【和谐家庭10条吵架公约】

1、要热吵不要冷战
2、要文斗不要武斗
3、就事论事不翻帐
4、严禁在公共场合、家人、孩子、朋友面前吵架
5、请使用文明语言
6、当天的气当天解
7、吵架时不提分开
8、双方要轮流道歉
9、男方要迁就女方
10、女方要体谅男方

遵守此条约吵吵更健康，喜欢的可以分享。

feel like share it out.

1 很多我们以为一辈子都不会忘记的事情，就在我们念念不忘的日子里，被我们遗忘了 。 


2 我知道我不是一个很好的记录者，但我比任何人都喜欢回首自己来时的路，我不但的回首，伫足，然手时光仍下我轰轰烈烈的向前奔去。

3 你给我一滴眼泪，我就看到了你心中全部的海洋 

4 如果上帝要毁灭一个人必先令其疯狂.可我疯狂了这么久为何上帝还不把我毁掉.

5 那些刻在椅子背后的爱情，会不会像水泥上的花朵，开出没有风的，寂寞的森林

6 在这个忧伤而明媚的三月，我从我单薄的青春里打马而过，穿过紫堇，穿过木棉，穿过时隐时现的悲喜和无常。

7 你笑一次，我就可以高兴好几天；可看你哭一次，我就难过了好几年。

8 那些曾经以为念念不忘的事情就在我们念念不忘的过程里，被我们遗忘了。

9 寂寞的人总是会用心的记住他生命中出现过的每一个人，于是我总是意犹未尽地想起你 在每个星光陨落的晚上一遍一遍数我的寂寞 

10 每当我看天的时候 我就不喜欢再说话 每当我说话的时候 我却不敢再看天 

11 我每天都在数着你的笑，可是你连笑的时候，都好寂寞。他们说你的笑容，又漂亮又落拓。 

12 我生命里的温暖就那么多，我全部给了你，但是你离开了我，你叫我以后怎么再对别人笑

13 曾经也有一个笑容出现在我的生命里，可是最后还是如雾般消散，而那个笑容，就成为我心中深深埋藏的一条湍急河流，无法泅渡，那河流的声音，就成为我每日每夜绝望的歌唱。 

14 凡世的喧嚣和明亮，世俗的快乐和幸福，如同清亮的溪涧，在风里，在我眼前，汨汨而过，温暖如同泉水一样涌出来，我没有奢望，我只要你快乐，不要哀伤……

15 风吹起如花般破碎的流年，而你的笑容摇晃摇晃，成为我命途中最美的点缀，看天，看雪，看季节深深的暗影。 

16 一个人总要走陌生的路，看陌生的风景，听陌生的歌，然后在某个不经意的瞬间，你会发现，原本费尽心机想要忘记的事情真的就这么忘记了。 

17 躲在某一时间，想念一段时光的掌纹；躲在某一地点，想念一个站在来路也站在去路的，让我牵挂的人。 

18 牵着我的手，闭着眼睛走你也不会迷路 。

19 假如有一天我们不在一起了，也要像在一起一样。 

20 有些事情还没讲完那就算了吧.每个人都是一个国王,在自己的世界里纵横跋扈,你不要听我的,但你也不要让我听你的.

21 我忘了哪年哪月的哪一日 我在哪面墙上刻下一张脸 一张微笑着 忧伤着 凝望我的脸 我们微笑着说 我们 停留在 时光的 原处 其实 早已被洪流 无声地 卷走 

22 有些人会一直刻在记忆里的，即使忘记了他的声音，忘记了他的笑容，忘记了他的脸，但是每当想起他时的那种感受，是永远都不会改变的

23 那些以前说着永不分离的人，早已经散落在天涯了。

24 原来和文字沾上边的孩子从来都是不快乐的，他们的快乐象贪玩的小孩，游荡到天光，游荡到天光却还不肯回来

25 你永远也看不到我最寂寞时候的样子，因为只有你不在我身边的时候，我才最寂寞。 

26 歌声形成的空间,任凭年华来去自由,所以依然保护着的人的容颜不曾改和一场庞大而没有落幕的恨.

27 总有一天我会从你身边默默地走开,不带任何声响.我错过了很多,我总是一个人难过.

28 我就像现在一样看着你微笑,沉默,得意,失落,于是我跟着你开心也跟着你难过,只是我一直站在现在而你却永远停留过去.

29 如果我们都是孩子,就可以留在时光的原地,坐在一起一边听那些永不老去的故事一边慢慢皓首.

30 我忘记了哪年哪月的哪一天　我在哪面墙上刻下了一张脸　一张微笑着　忧伤着　凝望着我的脸 那些刻在椅背后的爱情　　会不会像水泥地上的花朵　开出地老天荒的　没有风的森林

31 不是每一次努力都会有收获，但是，每一次收获都必须努力，这是一个不公平的不可逆转的命题。

32 当你真正爱一样东西的时候你就会发现语言多么的脆弱和无力。文字与感觉永远有隔阂。

33 遗忘 是我们不可更改的宿命 所有的一切都像是没有对齐的图纸 从前的一切回不到过去 就这样慢慢延伸 一点一点的错开来 也许 错开了的东西 我们真的应该遗忘了

34 什么叫快乐？就是掩饰自己的悲伤对每个人微笑。

35 坚硬的城市里没有柔软的爱情 生活不是林黛玉，不会因为忧伤而风情万种 人永远看不破的镜花水月，不过我指间烟云世间千年如我一瞬

36 记忆想是倒在掌心的水 不论你摊开还是紧握 终究还是会从指缝中 一滴一滴 流淌干净。

37 谁是谁生命中的过客,谁是谁生命的转轮,前世的尘,今世的风,无穷无尽的哀伤的精魂. 
我回过头去看自己成长的道路，一天一天地观望，我站在路边上，双手插在风衣的兜里看到无数的人群从我身边面无表情地走过，偶尔有人停下来对我微笑，灿若桃花。我知道这些停留下来的人终究会成为我生命中的温暖，看到他们，我会想起不离不弃。 

38 这个城市没有草长莺飞的传说,它永远活在现实里面,快速的鼓点,匆忙的身影,麻木的眼神,虚假的笑容,而我正在被同化

39 总有一天都会面目全非,时光没有教会我任何东西,却教会了我不要轻易去相信神话

40 风空空洞洞地吹过。一年又这么过去。而来年，还要这么过去。我不知道是安稳的背后隐藏着沮丧，还是沮丧里终归有安稳。只是我们，无法找到。 

41 离去，让事情变得简单，人们变得善良，像个孩子一样，我们重新开始。

42 一只野兽受了伤，它可以自己跑到一个山洞躲起来，然后自己舔舔伤口，自己坚持，可是一旦被嘘寒问暖，它就受不了

43 伤口就像我一样，是个倔强的孩子，不肯愈合，因为内心是温暖潮湿的地方，适合任何东西生长。

44 因为我知道你是个容易担心的小孩，所以我将线交你手中却也不敢飞得太远。不管我随着风飞翔到云间我都希望你能看见，就算我偶尔会贪玩了迷了路也知道你在等我

45 我不喜欢说话却每天说最多的话，我不喜欢笑却总笑个不停，身边的每个人都说我的生活好快乐，于是我也就认为自己真的快乐。可是为什么我会在一大群朋友中突然地就沉默，为什么在人群中看到个相似的背影就难过，看见秋天树木疯狂地掉叶子我就忘记了说话，看见天色渐晚路上暖黄色的灯火就忘记了自己原来的方向... 

Part 5 Hypnosis

Hello

In Lesson 5:

• How to use Hypnosis to achieve a specific goal
• Audio Lesson

Welcome to the final installment of How to Use Hypnosis to Help Yourself and Others!

Today I'm going to show you how to use self hypnosis to achieve a specific goal. Many so-called hypnosis 'masters' will tell you that all you have to do is repeat positive ideas to yourself for things to improve.

That is such nonsense I wrote an article about it: The Pitfalls of Positive Thinking

Skilled sculpting, not sledgehammering!

Achieving the best (or any) results with hypnosis is a subtle blend of solution-focused psychology and carefully crafted communication.

If you have listened to any of the downloads listed on the left, you will probably have noticed the many ways in which the goal of the download is reinforced. Some you may not have noticed at all. Sometimes more subtle is better!

Now there are many threads to interweave when creating a powerful and effective goal-focused script, but I can give you a few of the central techniques right here.

Fundamental hypnotic techniques

It is vital that you get a good understanding of these, so I have included as much information as possible on this lesson's support page.

There you will find descriptions of the '3 pillars' of hypnosis:

• Rehearsal
• Anchoring
• Pattern interruption

How to use these techniques to achieve your goals

OK, so let's take a look at some of the things you might want to do using hypnosis, and how you would set about achieving them using the techniques above.

• Self confidence
  There is much you can do with self confidence (which is why we developed our free self confidence courseand the Self Confidence Trainer CD pack), but let's look at the basics.
  Using hypnosis, you can decrease anxiety by using rehearsal, and improve confidence at the same time. You can use anchoring to powerfully remind yourself how it feels to be confident, and to remember times when you did feel confident.
  These feelings can be 'applied' to the new situation using rehearsal.
• Anxiety
  There are varying degrees of anxiety from mild worry through to panic attacks. (For more on this, see ourpanic attacks site.)
  However, the enemy of anxiety is calmness, and there is no better way to get seriously calm and relaxed than hypnosis.
  Relaxing every day will bring down your average anxiety 'set point', allowing you to be calmer generally. You can also use anchoring to remind yourself of a time you felt really relaxed.
  Rehearsal can be used to help prepare for an event that is making you anxious, and if you tend to worry in a repetitive way, pattern interruption will help a lot.
  You can also think more constructively by relaxing yourself in hypnosis first, then thinking calmly and slowly about whatever it is that is bugging you.
• Public speaking
  This is an incredibly common problem, which is why we developed the public speaking confidencedownload.
  There are two main things you need to do to help yourself be more relaxed. Firstly, take care of any conditioning effects of previous unpleasant speaking experiences. For that, you can use the dissociation technique outlined in the section on rehearsal.
  For any previous experiences that were unpleasant, relax yourself nice and deeply, then watch the old experiences on a screen in your mind until you can do it and remain calm.
  Then, rehearse the way you want things to happen - how you want to feel, how you will look and sound, the way the audience will be responding, that sort of thing.
  Although simple, if done properly, this can make a huge difference.

And that brings us to the end of our course. Although it may seem brief, there is a vast amount of information contained in these lessons, handouts and audio files. As with any skill, hypnosis takes time to master, but the great thing is that you can begin getting results right away, which is great motivation to continue your study.

Hypnosis is the most useful life skill you can have. It is at the core of all self help techniques and, dare I say it, all effective therapy.

Once you understand it and can use it, the limits are only that of your imagination - and even that improves when you use hypnosis!

It's been a pleasure telling you about hypnosis and I hope I have inspired you to learn more!

My best wishes

Part 4 Hypnosis

Hello

In lesson 4:

• How to structure a freeflow induction
• Audio session

How to structure a freeflow hypnosis session

Welcome to lesson 4 and one of the most important parts of learning how to do hypnosis - how to compose a hypnosis session and why you do it this way.

Now, although this course is for people who want to hypnotise themselves for personal development and self help, the way to get really good at self hypnosis is to treat yourself as someone else when doing the hypnosis.

For this reason you use "you" instead of "I" when hypnotising yourself, and follow all the same principles as we have covered so far.

Conscious vs unconscious response

Don't get confused between your conscious and unconscious mind. You may consciously think "I don't need all that to go into hypnosis", but your unconscious mind will respond to hypnotic language regardless.

It's just the same as when someone blushes - they are thinking "Oh no, I really don't want to blush ", but they are blushing all the same.

This doesn't mean you can hypnotize people if they don't want to be hypnotized - your subject does actually have to listen!

So, before I get too far off track, the point here is that when doing self hypnosis, pretend you are hypnotizing someone else - it works best that way.

So you're going to hypnotize yourself...

OK, so imagine you are sitting down to do a self hypnosis session. Instead of listening to a CD, you want to do your own session.

A great way to learn hypnosis quickly is to record your own sessions and then listen to them later (if you can leave a day or so between recording and listening that's even better).

This enables you to hear what worked well, and what you need to work on. Making a recording also makes you focus so you learn better.

You know what to say to yourself - remember the language patterns - but how do you put it all together?

Here's how...

• Start by observing the way you feel. If you are feeling a bit 'hyper', then start your induction off briskly - there's nothing worse than hypnosis that mis-matches the way you feel. In this case, start off your induction by talking quite quickly and in an 'everyday' voice'. This parallels your emotional state and makes it easier for your unconscious mind to get involved.
• Talk about things that are immediately observable to start with - "You are sitting in that chair", "You can listen to my voice", "You are still nice and awake" - remember 'adjunctive suggestions' in the'Hypnotic Language Patterns' article in lesson 2?
• As you feel yourself beginning to focus, just start to slow your voice down slightly, and soften it a little - suddenly jumping into 'Mr Hypno' voice will just jarr.
• Begin introducing nominalizations for the sort of response you want - you know; relaxation, calmness, focus - that sort of thing. Start making suggestions for responses.
• Start to use imaginative involvement - talk about things you can see, hear, smell, touch and feel. As you begin to relax, your imagination will work better.
• Once you have attained a good level of relaxation, you can do any rehearsal you want to do - you can rehearse how you want to feel in a particular situation. (much more on this in the DVD).
• When you decide you want to bring the session to a close, draw the attention away from internal imagination back to things in the immediate environment, such as sensations in the body, sounds in the room. This will begin the re-orientation process. As you do this, very gradually make your voice more normal. This will serve as a message to the unconscious to return to the normal waking state.

OK, so now I'll give you an example of this so you can hear what I mean...

if you really do want it add on my facebook and ask from me. i will send you ;)

In our final lesson we will look at how you use hypnosis to achieve specific goals. Until then - relax...

Part 3 Hypnosis

Hello

In lesson 3:

• The Staircase Induction
• Hypnotic versus non-hypnotic language
• Audio download

Hi there!

As always, straight on with the nitty-gritty...

In lesson 2 you heard about hypnotic language patterns, read the script and listened to the download, so you should now have a good idea how they are used to create a hypnotic experience.

Now it's your turn.

This lesson, you are going to learn how to write your own trance script using a 'structured' induction - that is, a framework within which to use your hypnotic language patterns.

Once you get good at hypnosis, you won't need this sort of structure, but as a learning tool, it is very useful.

The Staircase Induction

The framework we are going to use is that of a walk down a staircase to a relaxing place. Extremely simple, but within that structure, the only restrictions are the limits of your own imagination. You can really enjoy yourself with this! (In fact, hypnosis works best when you relax and let your mind do it's creative stuff.)

So here's how it goes:

• Imagine a staircase
• Walk down the staircase
• As you walk down, notice that it leads to a beautiful and relaxing place
• Enter that relaxing place and enjoy being there
• When you're done, come back up the stairs

Simple huh? But, as with most things, it's not what you say, it's how you say it, and this is where your hypnotic language comes in. Using hypnotic language to convey every aspect of the induction transforms it from a rather mundane idea into an enrapturing experience.

Hypnotic vs Non-hypnotic

Here's what I mean by using hypnotic language to convey the experience - let's take an example for each part of the above structure:

• Non-hypnotic: "You can see a staircase" versusHypnotic: "You know what a staircase looks like do you not? And in your mind's eye I'd like you just to notice what sort of a staircase you could notice there - whether it's a spiral staircase, a straight one, inside or out, with carpet, or wood to walk on..."
• Non-hypnotic: "You can walk down the staircase" versus
  Hypnotic: "As you place that first foot on the first step, just be aware that part of you can notice the sensation of the floor under your foot, that your hand can rest on a bannister if need be, and that with every step down you can go more and more relaxed..."
• Non-hypnotic: "You can see a beautiful place at the bottom" versus
  Hypnotic: "As you continue slowly and comfortably down that staircase becoming more and more relaxed as you do so, I'd like you to become aware on one level that you are going somewhere incredibly peaceful and relaxing. That could be on a sight level - being aware of a place you can see, on a hearing level - noticing the sounds of such a place, on a feeling level - just getting a sense in your body that you are about to go somewhere where you can relax unbelievably deeply..."
• Non-hypnotic: "You are in a beautiful place" versus
  Hypnotic: "Now I don't know what sort of a place that would be for you, the kind of place that just reassures and comforts you, that allows comfort and relaxation to drift gently into every part of you, relaxing you more and more deeply. I don't know the sort of things that would give you an incredible sense of peace and calm. For some people it is the sights, sounds, smells, and senses of a garden, the many greens, the blueness of the sky, the scent of blooms, the sensation of dewy grass on bare feet... but that place can be any place you like, inside or out... "
• Non-hypnotic: "Now you are walking back up the stairs"
  versus Hypnotic: "And when you are ready, you can find yourself gently drifting, strolling, walking or floating back to the base of those stairs and in your own time, just letting yourself be carried up them, and with every step higher you come up, more and more alertness can come back to your mind and body, while keeping that wonderful feeling of calmness deep inside..."

OK, so I hope you're getting the idea. This would be a good time to go back over the script from last week - you can use it to spot where I have used the various techniques in the examples above.

The final part of today's lesson is an audio session where I give you an example of the Staircase Induction. This you can use to get a good idea of the overall picture before doing your own.

Tip: One trick I used to use was to listen to other peoples' inductions and write out the trance script as I listened. It's amazing how quickly your unconscious mind learns when you apply that sort of focus!

That's all for today! I'll see you in 2 days time for a lesson on the 'rules' for putting together your own 'freeflow' inductions.

See you then,

Part 2 Hypnosis

In Lesson 2:

• Hypnotic language patterns
• Trance Script
• Audio Download

WELCOME back! I hope you've had a chance to practise the things you learnt in lesson 1. Just a quick reminder, they were...

• Hypnosis is the focused, relaxed use of the brain's 'reality simulator'
• Hypnosis involves relaxation and focus
• You can create a hypnotic state by drawing attention to details of an experience or sensations
• You need to 'paint a picture' in the mind
• You use your voice softly and slowly to create relaxation
• You use nominalizations to create an 'inner search'

Phew, that's quite a lot of info! And we're only just getting started.

Lesson 2 : Hypnotic Language Patterns

In today's lesson, you will learn more about language patterns - that is, specific and precise ways of using words that help create a hypnotic experience.

If you listen to a truly crafted piece of hypnosis, it will almost seem like normal speech - well OK, maybe not normal, but certainly not "You are getting sleepy, your arms are getting heavy".

Why not?

Well because most people don't like to be ordered around, simple as that. That sort of language is neither natural nor acceptable to most people.

Elegant hypnotic language is much, much more subtle. So subtle in fact that adverts you watch every day are swimming in it - and you've probably never noticed.

But hold on! If that's hypnosis, isn't everything hypnosis?

Well yes! And no. The point is, there are ways of communicating that make it more likely for your suggestions to be accepted. That is what I mean by hypnotic language patterns. And this is just as important when you are doing self hypnosis. These patterns work on an unconscious level, so they even work on me!

The hypnotic language patterns that we're going to cover now are:

• Nominalizations (we've already done these, but they bear repeating!)
• Embedded commands
• Illusory choice
• Presuppositions
• Adjunctive suggestions
• Confusional language
• Metaphor and analogy

Now, to stop this email getting too huge, click here to learn about the patterns.

How to get good at hypnosis

To be a good hypnotist, you need to 'integrate' these language patterns so they become second nature to you.

The best way I can recommend (and the way the students on our courses learn), is to write out examples of the different patterns - as many as you can - then use them to record a hypnotic session onto tape or your computer.

However, listening to hypnosis sessions will make this much, much easier. Hearing the language patterns in action will help 'embed' them, and make you learn so much faster. (And, of course, you'll feel great while you're doing it! It's not really like study at all is it?

And when you do, I promise you will be absolutely astounded at the difference it makes to your communication, your confidence and your overall personal development.

Free script and induction download

Click here for today's support page, where you can download a sample hypnosis script and its audio, so you can hear the language patterns being used.

Next time...

OK, so we've covered a lot this lesson, so I'll leave you to listen to your download and check out the language pattern script.

In lesson 3 in two days time, we'll be talking about 'structured' inductions and how you can use your new knowledge of hypnotic language patterns to create your own trance script.

Happy hypnotising!

Part 1 Hypnosis

Hello In Lesson 1: What is hypnosis? Exercise handout download Audio download Hello! And a big welcome to this, the web's first online hypnosis course with audio sessions. Seeing as you have signed up, I guess you already know how amazing hypnosis can be, so I won't waste your time going on about that. And this is the way this course is going to be - no extra fluff, no filler - there is plenty you need to learn about hypnosis without extra waffle. A quick introduction, then we'll get started. I'm Roger Elliott ofUncommon Knowledge. We train hypnotherapists in the latest applications of hypnosis - you won't be getting any out-of-date or second-rate information here! Uncommon Knowledge also publishes a range of websites and products, you can see them listed in the right-hand column of this email. As you will see from our sites, as well as knowing hypnosis inside-out,we have a deep understanding of psychology, which is essential if you are going to make the most of hypnosis. Like a cart without horses, hypnosis is useless if you don't know what to do with it! “It’s the optimum psychological and physical state in which to update responses to life so we can overcome difficulties and excel. For example we can use hypnosis to help update the anxious public speaker’s response of fear to that of calm when they are presenting.” Listen to an interview with Mark Tyrrell about how hypnotherapy can be used to overcome social anxiety, what hypnosis really is and how it is intimately connected with the REM state, the nature of the unconscious mind and how you can actually learn to use hypnosis on yourself. So let's get started right away... Before you start to learn how to use hypnosis to help yourself and others, we need to get rid of any myths you may have heard about hypnosis - mind-control, wizards, zombies - that sort of thing. Read this article before you go any further. OK, so now you know what hypnosis is not! What is hypnosis? Since you are going to be using hypnosis, you need a working description of what hypnosis is. A clear, understandable one, so here it is: Hypnosis is simply the deliberate use of the imagination, paralleled with strong focus and relaxation. Done well, it can work in the same way as when you are dreaming - the mind's 'Reality Simulator'. Developing Focus So when you go into hypnosis, you simply get very involved with an inner reality, and we create this involvement, this focus, by drawing attention to detail in an interesting way. It's just like when you read a good book; a great author will make the words impossible to ignore - he or she will paint pictures in your mind. A good hypnotist will do the same. But it's not just about colorful imagination, it's about controlling your attention - getting it focused on one or a few things. You can do this by deliberately noticing sensations within your own body. As an aside, when you can reliably control your own attention, you have a great skill - imagine being able to choose what you think about at any time - or to be able to choose to think about nothing (really handy for falling asleep!). Creating Relaxation You can create relaxation in hypnosis in 2 ways: by recalling relaxing times (recalling a memory is a hypnotic process as you have to re-construct it) by talking in a relaxing, soothing way - slowly, with pauses, in a soft, low voice. This sends an unconscious message to relax. How to 'Rebuild Experience' - Practical Exercise Aim: To develop the most important hypnotic skill - the ability to recreate experiences within the mind. Method: From a pleasant memory, such as a holiday, or something you enjoy doing, make a note of all the different elements that made up that experience. Process: Download this worksheet and fill it in. Creating Relaxation On the worksheet, you will see examples of 'nominalizations'. These words are hypnotic because they have no real meaning by themselves. You have to 'go inward' to assess what they mean for you - so they create an experience, which is what we are looking for with hypnosis. (More on this later in the course). When completing the worksheet, use as many of these types of words as you can, and get used to spotting them in everyday life. (Politicians, salespeople and 'gurus' use them a lot) Audio Lesson Now go to back the course support page and listen to the audio session. In it, I show you how to convert what you have just done into a hypnotic script. I want you to listen out for: My use of nominalizations The way I use all the senses How I use my voice OK, that's today's lesson finished! To get good at this, you should practise describing as many experiences as possible (you can print the handout out as many times as you like), and then convert them into a hypnotic script like I did. Don't worry about being good at this stage, just practise> - that's how you get good at hypnosis.